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The nationalist bandwagon is on the roll and foreign journalists really should know better and shut up. But have you got it in you to be a first-class nationalist? Take the quiz to find out!

1. While on holiday in Flores you see sexy Indonesian celebrity chef Farah Quinn with her new catch.



What’s your instinctive reaction?
a) Aww – what a lovely couple.
b) Wow she’s hot- he’s made a good choice!
c) Wow he’s handsome – she’s made a good choice!
d) Fu**ing bules! – they come over here to our country and take all our hottest women!

2. What is your response to the following statement?
Fascism is a form of Nationalism.
a) True
b) False
c) I love Ahmad Dhani

3. Who most deserved to win the 2014 World Cup?
a) Netherlands
b) Germany
c) Argentina
d) Indonesia

4. What is your favorite TV station?
a) Metro TV
b) BBC news
c) Trans TV
d) There should only be ONE TV station in Indonesia: TVone!!!

5. In the bedroom, what do you prefer?
a) candles, scented perfume and sexy lingerie
b) porn films and mirrors (love-hotel style)
c) whips, shackles, electrocution rods etc



6. Anti-intellectualism - and by extenuation anti-numeracy - are essential parts of being a good nationalist. Answer the following question:

At a remote district in East Java, there are 3,750 registered voters. Given that 48% of a sample of 500 voters said that they would vote for Number 1 and that 30 of the registered voters live in Malaysia as foreign workers and with an estimated golput rate of 20%, how many votes could Jokowi expect to receive on election day? (assuming a 5% margin of error)
a) 1,900
b) 2,000
c) 2,100
d) 0

7. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. ~ Joseph Goebbels
a) Agree

HINT – there is only one correct answer to this question. If you are not sure of the answer, read the question AGAIN.

8. Malaysia claim batik as part of their culture. Do you:
a) Do nothing (SBY style)
b) invite foreign journalists to a seminar to showcase Indonesia’s batik from Jogya, Solo, Cirebon etc and to explain its history in Indonesia.
c) declare war on the Malaysian bastards!

9. Which of the following is NOT an appropriate nationalist policy response to supporting Indonesia’s automotive industry?
a) requiring Indonesian government institutions to purchase Indonesian made cars such as Toyota Innova, Honda CRV etc
b) supporting the national esemka car (it’s that Jokowi guy again!)
c) purchasing a super luxury imported vehicle from Japan?





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Prabowo claims victory

This is astonishing.

To clutch victory from the jaws of defeat when the situation looked utterly hopeless.

The deficit was six million votes for God’s sake. SIX MILLION votes!

How to come back from that? In football terms, it would be equivalent to Brazil striking back against Germany and smacking in seven late goals to win 8-7 instead of losing 7-1.

Ultimately Brazil didn't make it into the World Cup Final but Prabowo looks destined to become Indonesia’s next president. That's the way it goes. Not that he wants power mind you - but because it is his calling. He has the obligation to serve the Indonesian people. And anyway, what’s the alternative? A political upstart and furniture maker from central Java? We can’t have that can we!