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It’s NOT supposed to be like this.

Government policymaking is going zany again – just like during the good ol’ days.

Before reformasi really took hold - if it ever did - there seemed to be a contest among the ministries about which one could come up with the most zany and ridiculous idea - my favorites being:

1. The draft law on citizenship which would have required foreigners to pay a Rp500 million ”bond” to marry an Indonesian women.

2. The draft law on manpower which would have required expats to take a TOEFL proficiency test in the Indonesian language.

3. The draft law on pornografi and ponoaksi which would have made sunbathing in Bali illegal and even criminalized national dress such as the Javanese kebaya.

4. The draft law that would have banned the use of written English in public places. All signs, advertising and shop names were going to have to use Indonesian. Indonesia grammar also had to be adopted rather than English grammar. This law, amazing enough, was actually passed and cost Lippo Bank a small fortune as the bank was obligated to rename itself Bank Lippo, thus requiring all its branch signs to be changed!!

5. The draft law making it a crime not to use the rupiah in transactions in Indonesia!!! (highly ironic given how many high-profile corrupt politicians have been busted with suitcases full of US dollars)

But history repeats itself, and now, under the supposedly reform-minded Jokowi – although I have strong doubts about that – Indonesia is entering a new era of wacko policymaking, as evident in a string of mindboggling decisions, which includes number two above as well as the idea to ban airlines from selling airline tickets at airports (wtf?!!!!), the decision to impose luxury taxes on houses/apartments sold at only Rp2 billion or above, and, most worrying of all, the decision to prohibit mini markets and other small shops from selling drinks with low alcohol content i.e. mostly beer (mini markets are already banned from selling drinks with higher alcohol content).

Jokowi’s dislike of drug crime is well known of course – he recently hailed the executions of six drug smugglers – but why wage a war on low alcohol content drinks? Is it because bintang-heads are killing each other across Jakarta whilst shooting up by the side of stinky canals as they try to evade the cops? Nope. Or perhaps it’s because bintang-heads are dropping dead after consuming a few glasses too many? Nah. True, a few drinkers might have had a bad hangover but the body count is still at zero.

So why? Because, as we are told by the minister who signed the regulation (the trade minister, Rachmat Gobel), the regulation will ensure the “protection of morals and culture in society.”

HAHAHA!!! Where have we heard that one before?!! No need to mention the rank hypocrisy of allowing minimarts to still sell cigarettes which kill more than 200,000 Indonesians annually. Or that the regulation will result in more deaths as more Indonesian consumers purchase illegally produced moonshine – which has been killing people.

Nope the agenda here is entirely, erm, “social”, with the impetus behind the ban on the sale of low alcohol content drinks at minimarts coming from a hardline anti-alcohol group called @AntiMiras_ID (anti-alcoholic drinks Indonesia).

This group – which is run by Fahira Idris, the daughter of the former economics minister Fahmi Idris - is backed by Rachmat Gobel, and no it does NOT take a genius to put 2 and 2 together to realize why there is a war on alcohol but not a war on cigarettes (ironically, the minister complained last year about Australia’s decision to require cigarette producers to use plain packaging to deter smoking as it might adversely affect Indonesian kretek sales – never mind the hapless smokers who get cancer right?!)

And besides, isn’t the minister overlooking one simple fact:

Note: Guinness didn’t choose the wonderful red knobbed hornbill (indigenous to Sulawesi) as the iconic toucan in its vintage ads – although it perhaps should have given that Indonesia is (apparently) its sixth largest market!!!

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My first car was a motorcycle.
~Adam Carolla

Another year. Another motorcycle show. This year, though, the name of the show has changed and it’s no longer the Jakarta motorcycle show but the Indonesia motorcycle show – an attempt by the show’s organizers (for what it was worth) to create a less parochial and more universal image.

Compared to previous years, this year’s show felt much more stripped down – a sign of tougher economic times perhaps? Austerity rearing its ugly head as Indonesia’s commodity exports struggle and the country runs out of money to pay for the ever-growing fuel imports (how ironic is that!?)

Only the big four (Honda, Suzuki, Kawasaki and Yamaha) had any sizable presence although I was impressed by Kawasaki’s offerings – the ninjas as tempting as ever (especially the highly desirable 650 ER-6n). Yahama’s R25 doesn’t really compare and Honda have completely lost the plot – they don’t seem to be making much effort with the CBR250R and are instead plugging the much cheaper (and much less powerful) CBR150R.

Also noticeable was the sharp reduction in the number and quality of the SPGs. But although many of them lacked raw talent and were probably just college girls seeking to make a bit of extra money, there were a few gems to behold - as I’m sure you’ll agree!